Due Date

Today was my due date for Atticus.

It has been a hard 3 months and this last week has been very emotional.
I sat down last night to write a couple things but when I woke up this morning I decided I didn't want to say all the negative/sad things 
When I'm sad it is hard to not write about everything that makes me down.
It does feel like I have a hole in my heart most days but that is when Scott and Stella come into play,
no matter how hard my day was they can ALWAYS make me smile, laugh and forget.
When I start feeling sad I always attack Stella with hugs and kisses
I am so blessed to have her and that she is healthy and happy.
I am grateful for the gospel
I know that I will get to see my baby again and he won't have any problems
We will be able to be a family again.
I am thankful that Atticus isn't going through multiple open heart surgeries
He would of already had one and would have another at 6 months.
He would of been in the hospital for pretty much his first year of life.
I wish I could get pregnant today but because of my preterm c-section my uterus takes longer to heal then just a normal c-section.
I am very excited to get pregnant again in the future.
So is Stella

I am so grateful that conference was this weekend, the Sunday morning session was amazing and it felt like they were talking straight to me a couple of times.

It also made me cry a lot, mostly Elder Uchtdorf's talk about his Grandson. 

I am so thankful for my family and friends who have been here for me

and for Scott and Stella who make everyday 100 times better!

 Our self portrait at Atticus grave